It's been a while...

I started this little blogging experiment thinking that maybe by writing again, I could gain some clarity. I used to write in journals on an almost daily basis, but the one thing about journals is that you know, no one else gets to read them. This blog idea makes it difficult because I cannot share all that I wish to share. These words, once published, are visible to anyone who happens to stumble upon this page.
So, how does one decide how much to share. I have been working very hard at setting out a goal for myself and seeing it through to completion. I have always felt like I was meant for something greater than the average person. Does that make me cocky, arrogant, disillusioned? Or does it mean I am aware of the potential I carry within myself but seem unable to unlock? I thought, go to school already! You have found something you can be passionate about, something that can make a difference, so go for it! But, every step along the way I have met with resistance. Every step I take is up hill and although I keep putting one foot in front of the other, I don't feel any further ahead.

Tim McGraw sings that we should "Live like you were dying. Like tomorrow is a gift". The underlying message, to my understanding is, not to take anything for granted. Living in excess is not necessary. Our fast food world with it's readily available drugs, alcohol and sex have us living with inorganic and unsustainable appetites. We don't know how to get by in this life when things aren't easily obtainable. So, I continue to try to convince myself, that even when things seem like they keep going sour, there has to be a reason for it. I've tried to learn from each stumble. Everything has it's cycles. Things won't be difficult forever because the harder I work for it, the more rewards I will reap.

I don't have much more to write tonight. I just wanted to put a few words down in an attempt to continue what I started earlier this year. Wish me the best, for I am still fighting to make something of myself. I get knocked down and I consider defeat, until I realize I can still put one foot in front of the other. As long as I can keep going, the story won't be over. I may have my happily ever after yet.